Yesterday I came in to work around 8:54 and there was a post-it note on my desk in front of the keyboard. It was from one of the night shift women, the one who doesn’t talk to me even if I say “hello, how are you?” She is also the one that comes rushing in minutes after she’s supposed to be at work, late and blubbering about some excuse or another. Traffic is her favorite, sometimes she throws in an accident or a bad light. Every day she works she’s late. I know this because I can’t leave till she gets there.

I never bothered to complain about her, though, to the boss. She’s never very late, only a few minutes, 10 at most. It seemed like a petty thing and only really irritated me when I had things to go do, like pick Ryan up at the bus stop.

Anyway, enough back story. The Post-It Note.

Basically, it said that I’d left my chair in the middle of the room and that I need to make sure I push it under the desk before I leave. 

I actually had to read it a couple of times. It was written with angry tone, accusing me basically of doing it on purpose. I’ve never, in my whole life, considered the state of my roll-y chair and of all the things I could do to this woman to make her life hard, leaving my chair in the middle of the room is not part of any master plan.

She also makes it sound like our room is very big. It’s not. It’s about the size of my dining room, if that gives you an idea. I didn’t push it 6 feet and leave it, “Muahahahaha-ing” as I walked to my car. Likely, I stood up and walked out, and it was not tucked under the desk. It should also be noted that usually the girl who takes my place moves over to my desk because I’ve got the double monitor thing going on. I’m guessing that she didn’t move over or didn’t move over fast enough, because my Mad Genius Plan of Villainy worked so well against her. 

I think the irony is that I wasn’t going to complain to our boss about her coming in late because I thought it was petty. I’m alarmed that she didn’t stop herself and go “I wonder if this is really all that important in the grand scheme of things?” though likely, she believes I do it on purpose.

So if you ever wondered what the depths of my dastardly-ness really were….now you know.